Entry: 5 months and 5 days! Thursday, April 22, 2004

Wow...It has been 5 months and 5 days since my last entry.  It seems like its been a week and I can't believe that so much has happened to me since then.  It's making me think about what life really is about.  I've had great times and I've had down right shitty times but they all seem the same now.  We stress so much about all these little things when it really doesn't matter.  I've wanted my life to be over, but I look back at it all and as bad as it seemed to me when it was happening.  It all puts a smile on my face and makes me happy to be here.  Last time I was writing in here I had a "great group of friends."  That was just the drugs talking.  Thats all they had.  Thats all they were.  I realized what was good for me and they weren't it.  Don't get me wrong...I probably do more drugs now then when we were hanging out ,but its all just for a laugh.  Before I was doing them everyday because I felt that I couldn't go on or stand life without them.  I was just trying to keep myself from finding out what I already knew.  Everyone that I had surrounded myself by were all jokes.  So I cut myself off cold turkey.  Did it by myself for a little bit...found out a little more about myself.  I still don't have "true" friends...if they even exist...but I'm happy.  We use drugs now, not depend on them.  That still sounds bad but its usually just for a good laugh and an even better story to help us through the school day.  Alright but enough with the boo*hoo I've really changed for the better bullshit.  What the hell is President Bush thinking??  Focusing on gay marriage while so many innocent people are dying because of something that he started?  I'm talking about our people and their people.  And right as I get into the political bitching ring...the bell rings.  Hopefully I won't wait so long next time.  I doubt it, I've got a lot of stuff to get out of my head.  I just have to try to find it first.  Celebrating 4:20 really did a number on my brain cell count!

Thanks for the feedback!  I like to hear when people feel the same way!



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